you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize