I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
