so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
