I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
do herpes really smell.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
