I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize