I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
