I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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