Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
