I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
