You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
