What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
