goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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