Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
