After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
