Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
