And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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