The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
