My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
