I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
