I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
