the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
