I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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