he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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