my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
