Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
