i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
