I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
