I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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