i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
