sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
