Pappa wants mamma naked
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The power of my boobs compel you
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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