he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
