I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
