Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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