I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your penis caused this!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
