It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
