Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
