Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
