Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
