pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
