just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
