Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
