would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
