So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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