I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
