What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
