all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm both gender and math confused
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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