I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
