She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
handjob tips. give me some.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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