well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
