tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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