i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
this beer tastes like vomit already
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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