He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
