I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My dad just said "fuck circus"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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