No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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