Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
