I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
They took my balls.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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