What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
