there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize