Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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