Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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