so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
