I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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