Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
