There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
