Non-Jews are for practice
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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