Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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