You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
