Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
