She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
