I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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