Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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